Kristina
—Jul 23, 2021
Welcome To All About Momma! I am so happy you decided to join my community!
I promised to give you a free guide to my happiness and I plan on delivering. If you already checked out my site you might see that I am Type A personality and that I am goal orientated. However, when you have lots of other things going on such as work, kids, relationships to foster, holidays, and house projects it can be hard to feel like you are achieving your goals. I can't dedicate as much time as I once did to my personal goals and I had to realize that this was okay. I also needed to reset my expectations. When you become a parent your life changes in an instant. It may take awhile to adjust to your new life. The sooner you adjust your expectations to be in line with your new life the sooner you will be happier.
Life is busy as a momma. But the most important thing has to be YOU! If you are not taking care of yourself then you might get through your days but you won't enjoy them. That is not the point, the point is for you to be happy! A happy person knows they first need to care for themselves.
I like to use Maslow's hierarchy of needs, and instead of needs I will call it order of priority. The base of the triangle is the most important and that is YOU! You need to decide what the next layer of importance for you is. Personally, my family is next followed by my work and then my friends. When I say my work I mean my family's financial security. If both my husband and I didn't prioritize work and, instead, focused on hanging out with our friends, I would be concerned about how we were going to keep a roof over our kids' heads.
I don't remember where I heard this, but the following saying has stuck with me; find three things that make you happy and a way to incorporate them into your daily life. You might need some time to mull that thought over, but what daily actions can you take that makes you feel good about yourself every time?
My three are below:
My list is pretty simplistic. Your list can evolve as you discover what actions make you happy and what you would and wouldn't do every day. For example, I do not want you to think I exercise every single day, but on average I find a way to get a workout in 5 to 6 days a week. On the days I don't exercise I go on walks outside a couple times a day.
Now the big thing here is don't compromise and don't make excuses. Once you discover your three things to make you happy, find ways to do them! I know I am happy when I exercise, but I have two little ones at home with me all day and on those days my husband isn't home to watch them what do I do? I get out my double jogging stroller and I take them on my run with me! It sounds annoying and I'd rather not have to take them, but afterwards I am so glad I did. I did it for me!
Another example is that I try not to let my kids watch too much TV. However, if my kitchen is a disaster I will let them watch TV so I have the time to clean my kitchen and make myself happy. Once I am happy I have more energy and patience for my children, it makes me a better momma.
Find ways to make what makes you happy happen! No excuses!
The second item in my order of priority is my family. For me this means when my kids are sick and my work day is packed I choose my kids. I find a way to let my kids stay home from daycare and get the rest and love they need. This does not mean that 100% of the time I don't show up for my job. My husband and I will often split the responsibility or we negotiate based on our schedules. It's okay to put your children before your job and not feel guilty about that. We mommas already have enough guilt.
The third item is work, and by that I mean financial income for our family. I would love for life to be free, but the reality is life is expensive. Now that I am responsible for not just myself but my two boys and dog I need to ensure our family stability. My husband and I both work, we both do okay but we are not sure we are comfortable enough to drop down to a one income household. Also, we like the security in knowing if one of us loses our jobs it will not be an "OH SHIT" moment.
I would love to quit and pursue more of my passions, and maybe one day I will, but not until I know my family is financially okay. I mean I am a finance major! Who wouldn't love to give up the 9-5 job?!
The fourth item is my friends. If Covid taught us anything it taught us how lonely life can be without your circle of friends. People need people for companionship, to feel connected to the world. One reason I wanted to create All About Momma is to be able to connect to more Mommas! I wanted to expand my circle and I am so happy you wanted to as well.
Well that is all from me for now! I hope this helps and please let me know what your Three Must Dos for Happiness are!